Comparative Essay: Reflecting on the Enhancement of "Shedding Light on Sex Trafficking"

     As I revisit my essay "Shedding Light on Sex Trafficking: Unveiling a Hidden Crisis," I recognize both its strengths and areas for improvement. While the essay effectively addresses the prevalence and severity of sex trafficking, there are aspects that could be enhanced to create a more impact piece. In this comparative essay, I will analyze the original essay's strengths and weaknesses, and provide recommendations for its enhancement.

     In writing "Shedding Light on Sex Trafficking," I aimed to raise awareness about the issue and its profound impact on individuals and society. The essay effectively presents shocking statistics and highlights the tactics used by traffickers to exploit victims. It clearly articulates the urgency of addressing sex trafficking and advocating for the rights of survivors. However, upon reflection, I recognize that the essay lacks depth in its analysis and could benefit from a more structured approach.

     Upon reviewing the original essay, I've identified areas where it could be improved. First, the beginning needs to grab the reader's attention better. My starting sentence was, "Sex trafficking is a terrible crime where people are forced or tricked into selling sex," could be stronger. For example, I could say, "In our cities and neighborhoods, a dark world exists where the most vulnerable are exploited in terrible ways." This would make readers more interested from the start. Also, I need a clear thesis statement to guide readers through the essay. Lastly, the essay needs to be better organized, with each paragraph focusing on one aspect of sex trafficking and clear connections between ideas.

     Additionally, upon reviewing my essay, I noticed that my use of quotes didn't integrate smoothly with the surrounding text. For instance, when discussing tactics used in sex trafficking, I cited an article stating, "victims are lied to, assaulted, threatened or manipulated into working under inhumane, illegal or otherwise unacceptable conditions." However, I should have incorporated this quote more seamlessly into the sentence rather than presenting it as a standalone. Furthermore, I could have strengthened the original essay by including more comprehensive research and evidence to support its claims. Integrating concrete examples, case studies, or expert opinions would have bolstered the argument's credibility and persuasiveness. A deeper analysis of the societal, psychological, and legal aspects of sex trafficking would have enriched the essay's content, providing readers with a more nuanced understanding of the issue. Finally, organizing the essay more effectively, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of sex trafficking and clear transitions between ideas, would have improved its overall coherence and readability.

     While "Shedding Light on Sex Trafficking" serves its purpose of raising awareness about the issue, I acknowledge that there is ample room for improvement to make it more impact and informative. By implementing the recommendations, I believe the essay has the potential to become a potent tool for advocating change and supporting survivors of trafficking.

     Reflecting on the evolution of "Shedding Light on Sex Trafficking," I appreciate the opportunity to revisit and enhance my work. By critically examining the strengths and weaknesses of the original essay, I am confident that it can undergo transformation into a more compelling and informative piece. This revised version will effectively spotlight the urgency of addressing sex trafficking while advocating for the rights of survivors.




 

                                                                                                                                             Works Cited

                 Newkirk, Brooklynn. “Shedding Light on Sex Trafficking”. March 17, 2024. Accessed April 23, 2024.